Surface Life
Posted on January 27, 2011 with 1 comment
After 5 months of actively "dating", I've come to realize that most people are genuinely uncomfortable when you look them in the face, say their name and ask them how they are doing as if you DO in fact, care. And as much as I would like to say this is an epidemic only familiar to singles, I can't help but wonder how many married couples don't look at each other often enough and ask that simple question.. How are you?
/For some, it makes them feel as if they have been violated/probed if you will, past the surface level of their skin. It's scary for several reasons I believe. To reply with something other than the expected "fine" could possibly implicate the one being asked in actually being human. Some are simply not comfy being human, yet silently die inside waiting for someone to reach in and ask that simple question and really care about the response. It also begs the question of how many of us are too scared to ask ourselves that question? Seriously. Our feelings have either become the boogey man under the bed or evil dictators of our existence.
Admittedly, it is a rather daunting prospect to answer that question honestly at times..depending upon who's asking. I think this is where discernment comes in. I have definitely run into my share of wolves through this process and realize that some people ask with their own agenda at work, others really don't want another answer than "fine".
I've also learned that while men in general, will tell you they are tired of running into women they end up having to save, the truth is, every boy wants to save the damsel, yet I would sit with an obvious awe inspired look if someone actually asked me how I was and genuinenly cared for the answer. Hum...
/For some, it makes them feel as if they have been violated/probed if you will, past the surface level of their skin. It's scary for several reasons I believe. To reply with something other than the expected "fine" could possibly implicate the one being asked in actually being human. Some are simply not comfy being human, yet silently die inside waiting for someone to reach in and ask that simple question and really care about the response. It also begs the question of how many of us are too scared to ask ourselves that question? Seriously. Our feelings have either become the boogey man under the bed or evil dictators of our existence.
Admittedly, it is a rather daunting prospect to answer that question honestly at times..depending upon who's asking. I think this is where discernment comes in. I have definitely run into my share of wolves through this process and realize that some people ask with their own agenda at work, others really don't want another answer than "fine".
I've also learned that while men in general, will tell you they are tired of running into women they end up having to save, the truth is, every boy wants to save the damsel, yet I would sit with an obvious awe inspired look if someone actually asked me how I was and genuinenly cared for the answer. Hum...